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Ivy: My dance director. I mean, who wouldn’t have a crush on this guy? He’s cute, fit, and dances really well. He’s soooo cute. Like, so so cute. His face clashes with his incredibly fit body. Meeting him for the first time, I was kind of shy around him. But then that shyness slowly went away as the semester progressed. We shared hugs. Random meaningless texts. But everything was superficial, nothing actually held any real concrete meaning. He’s so caring. He makes you feel like you’re the only person that matters in fleeting moments. When I was drunk, he would constantly ask me if I was okay, if I needed anything, etc. He offered to walk me home when I was drunk. He offered to drive me home when I was drunk. He probably wouldn’t have offered to carry me home if I was drunk. I remember, one time, he said he was committed to seeing me grow as a dancer. I guess at the time these things seemed huge to me, a sign that he might be interested, but none of it mattered at all. At least, in the way I wanted it to matter. Thinking about him now, he’s kind of odd. Some of his behaviors are quirky, and not in a way I like. Also, he’s a little bit awkward. I don’t understand why. But I guess we all have our insecurities, right?
Ying and Yang: Ah. I remember him because I was at a party of sorts. He grabbed my attention because he was so attractive. He’s older. A junior. Doing big things in the big world. He seems pretty grounded. He’s actually kind of short, only coming up to my chest. But he’s built and soooo cute. His hair is one of his best features, I think. It’s slightly curly and unruly, and gives him an edge I can’t quite describe. But it makes him look so attractive. His eyes crinkle when he smiles. His eyebrows are dark and heavyset, like Grey’s. Maybe cute is the wrong word. Maybe he’s handsome. Yeah, I think handsome is a better adjective for him. He’s not a boy, but an actual man. I sat next to him in oceanography class despite sitting next to one of my close friends before that, wanting to get closer to him. I felt warm when our legs would brush against each other during class, when we would converse about the homework due last week, what he was doing this weekend. I’d like to think I was making good progress in getting to know him during that time, since Ying and Yang is generally a standoffish. Aloof. Keeps to himself. But I slacked on schoolwork and stopped going to oceanography class because I overslept. Every. Single. Damn. Day. So our dynamic shifted. I stopped talking to him. During dance practice, I stopped talking to him, too. I would catch him staring at me constantly, and I would feel guilty because I think he thought I disliked him because I didn’t sit next to him anymore, but it was only my unwillingness to not go to class. In any case, it doesn’t really matter. It’s not like I’m going to talk to him in the near future. He’s a busy man. Actually, there’s one instance I haven’t mentioned here that’s kind of funny, so I’ll talk about it. I was at my dance team’s last social, getting drunk off my ass. I was about to get another shot when he asked me if I wanted to be a dirty girl scout. I said what’s that, and he just repeated the question back to me. I said yes, so he told me to get on my knees and open my mouth for him. I did, and he poured minty alcohol and chocolate syrup into my mouth. It was fun for me. But I wonder if that meant something else for him. I wonder if it made him feel anything. Probably nothing, most likely. It’s no use worrying about it now. I don’t know how to end this… Yeah.
Yang and Ying: The other one! This dude shares the same name with Ying and Yang. He’s a sophomore. He’s so cute. So tall, too. His smile is the cutest. His hair is nice, styled in a way that it rolls over part of his forehead, and the sides are closely cropped. I don’t know how to describe hair. Just take my word for it that it looks good. Hmm… there’s not much to say about him. Actually, this crush was pretty superficial, and I barely talked to him or interacted with him at all during the semester, except at parties where he would get drunk and start getting very touchy with me. But he’s a touchy drunk, so that barely even counts. Yeah… not much to say here… Sorry, Yang and Ying.